Reading List 2011-2012

Since I am not currently employed full time or even part time, I have a lot of time to sleep, watch television, eat, shop, surf the net, blog, run and read.  Getting 8 hours of sleep is good.  Getting 10-12 hours of sleep is overkill.  Watching the morning news for an hour is useful.  Watching Ion television or USA for hours at a time is a waste of my time and not good for my circulation, unless I'm walking on a treadmill or riding a stationary bicycle. Eating is good, but only in moderation.  Shopping is good stress relief, but a big stressor on my wallet.  Surfing the net can also be a good thing or a waste of time, depending on my intentions for doing so.  Blogging can be a good way do develop my communication skills, keep a journal, vent my feelings, etc; but I would have to be careful of what I blog about.  I'm putting stuff out there that everyone can see, including friends and future employers.  Running is a very good practice to implement into my daily life, but it's so difficult to start and maintain.  It also should not take up the majority of my day; it should last 30 minutes to an hour tops, at least right now at my fitness level.  Reading.  Reading is a good activity.  I can expand my knowledge and vocabulary; plus, it helps me to stop daydreaming about the future, which has become almost like a disease for me.  I believe daydreaming, at least about the things that I daydream about, can cause or increase depression. Like most things, a little bit of daydreaming is ok, but too much can be detrimental.  Back to reading.  Of course, reading while sitting for hours on end causes the same circulation problems that watching television for hours on end does.

I need to find a job, or at least more volunteer opportunities on the days that I do not have to leave the house.  I currently volunteer at Vanderbilt on Mondays, attend a martial arts class on Mondays and Wednesdays.  Running and walking could take up the other days of the week...  But I'm getting off-topic.

I have a reading list:

Books read: Animal Farm, by George Orwell; Every Patient Tells a Story, by Lisa Sanders, MD; The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins

Books to read: The Emperor of All Maladies, by  Siddhartha Mukherjee; The Hiding Place, by Corrie Ten Boom; God and World in the Old Testament, by Terence E. Fretheim; A Scientist's Guide to Talking with the Media, by Richard Hayes and Daniel Grossman; A Visit from the Goon Squad, by Jennifer Egan; The Best of It: New and Selected Poems, by Kay Ryan; The Power of Half, by Kevin and Hannah Salwen; Divergent, by Veronica Roth; The Present Age, by Soren Kierkengaard; Through Painted Deserts, by Donald Miller; Seeing the Unseen, by Joe Beam; God Never Blinks, by Regina Brett

Why these books?  Well, since we're all afraid of the possibility of our current society becoming an Orwellian society, I decided to read up on what such a society would look like.  I've already read 1984 in high school, but should probably read it again; however, I had not read Animal Farm until recently and decided to read it because it was there, it was by Orwell, and it was short.  So short, in fact, that I was able to finish it in about 5 hours.  I am not a fast reader.  The book made me furious throughout its entirety.  I did let out a chuckle at the last page, though.  Earlier, I read The Hunger Games because friends recommended it, and I had listened to enough of it in audio form to become intrigued, both because of the adventurous aspect of it of because of it's depiction of a dystopian society.  I enjoyed the book, but wished it didn't end the way it did.  I'm kind of a romantic.

The next book, Every Patient Tells a Story, I had started earlier than the previous two books, but had put it down for a while while I was in my last semester of college.  It was the last book I bought from Davis Kidd before it went out of business. (sob!)  I bought it because I want to become a physician, and I thought that it would give me good insight into what today's doctors consider in the process of making diagnostic and treatment decisions and also into the way doctors and patients do and should interact.  I found the book to be very interesting and informative.  I would definitely recommend it to anyone interested in medicine.  I started reading The Emperor of All Maladies because it's a biography of one of the most mysterious and life-altering diseases: Cancer.  It is also a Pulitzer Prize winner.

Oh goodness, If I go into detailed descriptions of why I plan to read each book, this is going to be one extremely long post. So, for brevity's sake, one-liners will be presented from now on:

The Hiding Place: Because my sister told me I had to read it.
God and World in the Old Testament: Because my dad highly recommended it.
A Scientist's Guide to Talking with the Media: Because it might be useful to me in the future as I slowly lose the ability to effectively communicate with lay-people. (oops, that's a two liner.  How about One sentencer's?)
A Visit From the Goon Squad:  Because it's a Pulitzer Prize winning novel.
The Best of It: New and Selected Poems: Because it's a Pulitzer Prize winning book of poetry written by the 2008-2010 United States Poet Laureate.
The Power of Half: because its description inspired an idealist-at-heart, like me.
Divergent: because it's supposed to be kind of like The Hunger Games, and I needed to buy more books to get free shipping from Amazon.
The Present Age: Because the cover looked pretty, and it's good to read old books you don't agree with 100%.
Through Painted Deserts: Because Donald Miller is an awesome writer.
Seeing the Unseen: Because it was used in a Bible study at my home congregation.
God Never Blinks: Because God Never Blinks.

Well, this post is still quite long, but I enjoyed writing it.  It's therapeutic.

Now I'm off to nourish my body with food in moderation.

~Shannon

On the Road to Medical School

It's been tough for me to get everything I've needed to do in applying for medical school done by the August 1st deadline for Quillen College of Medicine's early decision program because I am both a perfectionist and a procrastinator.  However, I was able to convince the wonderful members of Lipscomb's Health Professions Advisory Committee to give me an interview and write a letter of evaluation during the months of July and August, respectively.  I submitted my general application before the August 1st deadline and received a request for a supplemental application around August 3.  It took me a few weeks to get around to answering all of the questions to my liking, and then I proceeded to beg my HPAC adviser to mail the letter of evaluation to AMCAS as soon as possible.  The letter was mailed a little under a week before the August 24th deadline, but I realized that there was not enough time for the letter to be processed by AMCAS and made available to ETSU by the deadline.  HOWEVER, an AMCAS representative informed me that there was a way for the committee adviser to upload the letter of evaluation directly onto the AMCAS website, making the letter available to the designated medical school in about TEN MINUTES! Of course, I hauled myself over to Lipscomb's HPAC adviser's office, informed him of this fact, and pleaded with him to upload the letter as soon as possible (I was hoping that day, as it was the 23rd of August).  He told me that he had other things to do at that time but that he would try to upload it as soon as he could.  I thanked him and left a little worried about the possibilities of that happening.  A few hours later, though, I noticed an email from AMCAS informing me that my letter of evaluation had been processed and made available to ETSU.  I could have done a cartwheel had I had enough space.  I wondered why I had never heard of this LetterWriter program on AMCAS, the program that allows one to upload letters of evaluation/recommendation.  One would think that in this era, the ability to upload documents to websites would make mailing those same documents, which will be put on the same websites, obsolete, but who knows? Maybe there's a specific job for people at AMCAS who process those mailed documents, and they would be out of a job if uploading letters of evaluation became well known and widely used.  Well, I'm glad they have that option.  They must have been thinking of all those procrastinators out there who want to become physicians. 

Anyway, I received an invitation from Quillen College of Medicine to be interviewed by members of its admissions committee a few days after the August 24th deadline. I did a happy dance and thought about how quickly my supplementary application and letter of evaluation had been read and evaluated.  Then I remembered that I had applied for early decision, meaning that if ETSU wanted me as a medical student, it had to let me know by October 1st.  Yes, I was glad I applied early decision.  ETSU is where I want to go for medical school, and I am not the most patient person, so applying early to just ETSU and no other medical school was a good decision for me.  If I am not accepted for the 2012 year, I will apply to other medical schools as well, and if I have no luck there, then I will keep applying for the following years.  If I have to, I'll take the dreaded MCAT again.  Lord willing, I am going to be a physician!

My interview is in exactly one week.  If you read this, please pray for me!

~Shannon

After College

I'm not sure what my life will be like after I graduate.  I still want to live in Nashville, but in order to do that, I need a job.  I've applied to several research assistant jobs at Vanderbilt, and I've had one interview so far.  If I got the job I interviewed for, then I would be living and working in Nashville for two more years, which I like the idea of.  But at the same time, I was planning on taking one year off from school then going to medical school (if I get in).  I don't mind taking off 2 years before medical school, but my parents think I won't want to go back to school after 2 years.  I think getting this job would be a great opportunity to help me decide whether I would rather work with people or in a lab, but I also know that if I just took a year off and shadowed various doctors, then I would be able to decide whether I want to be a doctor at all. 

Father, please help me to make the right decisions regarding my future, and I pray that your will be done concerning the decisions made by others that affect me.  In Christ's name, Amen.

If anyone reads this post, please pray for me as well.  Thank you.

My Thoughts After A Devotional With Four Other Girls (was supposed to be a larger group, but we were all that came. Sad, I know, but not really.)

I cannot be the same around everyone. I can love everyone the same, but I show different sides of myself to different people and in different situations. For example, in the fast kick-off devotional tonight, I was extremely quiet and shy. I was more than willing to read a scripture (Isaiah 58:6-12), but when Heidi and Trina prayed with long intervals in between (which was probably for anyone who wanted to pray to do so), I was praying, but most of it was personal. However, towards the end of the last interval, I prayed for all of us, for Christians in general, to know that our possessions and abilities are not ours because they are God’s, and we should share them with others and not be stingy with them. I prayed for all of us, but I prayed in silence. Part of me thinks I should have prayed aloud, but I am very uncomfortable with speaking words off the top of my head in a group of people that I hardly know, so I prayed in silence.

The reason I began by stating that I cannot be the same around everyone is because I am very gregarious and verbose (effervescent, you might say) around my family and oldest friends, and even around people like Levi, who is a relatively new friend. He is such an accepting friend, that I don’t ever have to worry about what he thinks of me, which is a rare find in a friend, but also a mark of a true friend and brother. He feels like my brother, and, in some ways, he accepts me better than my twin sister does. (She accepts my more girly side better, while he better accepts my stranger side.)

Silent moments in a devotional do not have to be awkward. They are silent moments before God, listening to Him and giving all our burdens to Him. Silent moments in a group of people outside of a devotional feel a little (to a lot) awkward to me because I feel like I (or someone else) should always have something to say, which may, or may not, be true. Thing is, I rarely always have something to say, and even if I do, in my introverted state (which occurs most of the time), I want to make sure that what I have to say is relevant enough to say or does not sound stupid. I tend to be very critical of myself and think that what I have to say is not very important or interesting, so I usually do not say whatever I want to say. This is why I would rather write, because I can analyze my content and style, edit my writing, and make sure that I am communicating my point properly (or, at least, the way I want to communicate it). This is also why I like blogging. Others can read my blog entries if they want to, so I do not feel like I am intruding on their lives, and they see more of what I really mean. When I speak to people, I tend to turn circles around myself and change my opinions frequently as I try, myself, to figure out what I really mean.

I feel like the points in these paragraphs do not mesh well, but they are my thoughts as they come, edited to emerge more coherent than they would if they came from my mouth. I may post this either on Tumblr or on Blogspot, but not today because I am fasting from my internet addictions, of which these are two, and naps (which has nothing to do with posting, but I figured I would mention that as well. Actually, I could probably write a whole essay about why I am fasting from napping, but for the sake of time, and my fast from napping, since it is half past midnight, I will not do so right now. )

~Shannon McClure; 12:33 am 3/5/10

Living Water

When drops of rain can

heal my pain, then I

realize You are

never far away

from me; and daily

You shower me with

drops of Love, gifts of

Grace from Above, from

Your Holy Kingdom.

Yes! Your Kingdom come!

When flakes of snow do

kiss my cheeks, You warm

my soul and charm me

in your glitt'ry white.

You cleanse the night; rays

of Your Son blaze through

every sin - You guide

my misled pride on

a quest to The Sun.

Lord, Your will be done!

~Shannon McClure
1/29/10

I think I'm going to like this semester.

Even though I'm taking roughly 20 hours of classes (6 non-credit MCAT prep hours + 1 hour of Chamber Singers, which I consider to be more of an extra-curricular activity +13 hours of for-credit classes, 4 of which are upper-level biology and chemistry classes and labs, then a bible course) and get stressed when I think about needing to study 20 hours for MCAT prep and about 24 hours for the for-credit classes, I actually look forward to every class (because they are all extremely interesting and fun) and even to the MCAT prep classes (because I'm taking them with one of my friends, and afterwards on Thursdays, we will go to Sanctuary and sing praises to God at the top of our lungs!)  I need to get on a good study, sleep, and eating schedule, however, which is harder to do than I thought it would be (hence my staying up late to write this).

I thought about writing more, but the headache of tiredness has set in, so I'm just going to end with this little tidbit: I usually never willingly go out in the rain without an umbrella, but on Wednesday, I saw that it was raining and decided, before I realized that I left my umbrella at home, that I would walk to class slowly and actually enjoy the feeling of rain, and not simply the sight, sound, and scent of it.  I felt very at peace in the rain, not caring that the drops landed on my glasses and slightly skewed my vision.  Joy was also a very prominent feeling. I couldn't stop smiling as I walked to my 8 o'clock.  I think God is in the rain; therefore, I don't think I will ever use an umbrella again (unless I'm required to show up completely dry to an event). That's all for now. :)

Reflections

     I finished the books I decided to read over break, plus another-Crazy Love by Frances Chan- and have started some new ones: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller, Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin, The Screwtape Letters and Miracles both by C.S. Lewis, and Voices from the Margin edited by R.S. Sugirtharajah.  I'll probably finish the first three before school starts and maybe bring the other two with me to read when I have free time.  The last two are not leisurely reads, though.  I need a dictionary beside me to read Miracles, and I'm thankful that I learned what hermeneutics and hegemony meant in Faith and Culture because both words occur frequently in the essays in Voices from the Margin.  I actually started Three Cups of Tea and The Screwtape Letters last year before school, but never finished them, so I started where I left off in both of them.  Most of these books have caused and are causing me to rethink the way I've been living my life.  They've shown me the lives of real people who are living out their God-given stories, and they encourage me to do the same with my life.  For most of my life, I've been selfish and scared, seeking refuge, not in God, but in my daydreams-seeking refuge from the world, when I should be living out God's story in it, doing good and spreading His love through my actions and words.  I glean much more satisfaction from life when I actually do good with it instead of think about doing good, so one would think that I would pursue opportunities to occupy myself with good deeds, but that's where my shyness kicks in.  I have no problem doing something someone asks me to do (so long as it's not one of my family members asking; though, I've been working on that and have made significant improvements in letting go of my pride and selfishness, but I still have some issues with pride), but starting something is just not my cup of tea because I'm afraid that no one will want to help, and I don't want to bug people in the first place.
     I want to go outside my comfort zone, to get to know people that I wouldn't normally associate with because of my preconceived (and most likely wrong) notions of them and because of my belief that they do not want to get to know me.  Once I get to know someone, I do things for them, not because I feel sorry for them, but because I love them.  Downside to being an introvert: I don't do well knowing a lot of people a little. I'd rather know a few people a lot.  That's where developing a love for all people regardless of whether I know them or not comes in.  And in a way, I do love everyone, but I wonder if it's because I know that's what I'm supposed to do or if I really do.  I suppose it's harder to show love to people if I'm afraid that they won't like me or won't talk to me (I hate awkward silences and not knowing what to say, so I struggle with wanting to talk, but not wanting to at the same time), and this is where loving myself should come in.  If I don't love and think well of myself, how can I love and think well of others.  I know God, my family and my friends love me, and I can see in the mirror that I'm not bad looking, and I have made new friends who seem to think that I'm pretty neat, so why should I assume that I won't be liked by others? And really, it shouldn't matter whether others like me or not; I should still love them and be a friend to them.  During this semester, I plan to work on getting to know different people and becoming more of a servant.
     I feel like, in reading the books I've read, in addition to the Bible, every day has opened my eyes to a better way to live my life and reminded me of what it really means to be a Christian.  I have read the Psalms and the Gospels many times, but each reading seems just as much an epiphany as the previous reading.  I love the Psalms because they are poems and songs of praise, supplication, lament, essentially of every emotion a human can feel, to God.  The authors of these beautiful verses praise God for his awesome power and love, ask Him to defend the oppressed and poor, and express sorrow in turning away from Him.  The Psalmist expresses his constant need and love for God.  Now, the Gospels are the really convicting readings because they deeply challenge my selfishness and pride.  They are not so comfortable to read and often bring me to tears, mostly because I am not sure how I am to give up everything and follow Jesus.  Does that mean go live in a community like the Simple Way, or does it mean going to medical school so I can become a doctor and work in public health clinics and in third world countries?  What about raising a family? Should I even marry?  I think I might want to get married and have children, but then my family would have to make enough money to support everyone in it, and I may become less generous with my money.  I don't know at this point, and I think it's ok.  I just need to put my trust in God and live my life in constant need and love for Him.